UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

“How many of you in this room feel that you don’t get appreciated largely at your workplace?” Quite a few hands were raised in a response to this question by the trainer. Rajan was also one of them to raise his hand. “How do you feel when you do not get it?” the participants started throwing in words like ‘Dejected’, ‘Demotivated’, ‘Angry’, ‘Sad’, ‘Ignored’ and some more. The trainer asked, “Why do you think this happens with you?” This was a favorite question for the participants as they took it as an opportunity to vent out all their frustration that had been piled up. They in fact loved the trainer for creating this opportunity. “My boss does not care for talent.” “People around me are not in a habit of appreciation. Instead they say it was your job.” “Bosses are very mean people. They feel, once they appreciate someone, they would take and undue advantage of it.” “The management is very target oriented and pays more attention to numbers than employees.” One after the other responses started pouring in. Finally after a while the trainer had to signal a time up by making a ‘T’ with both his hands.  

Now looking carefully at the white board, where the trainer had diligently noted down the responses, asked a very reflective question to the participants. “How many times do you appreciate people?” That was a very powerful question. A few hands went up and few were hesitantly moving up like a snail moving. For most of them it was a stunner. Silence prevailed for a while. Realizing that the acknowledgement has seeped in, the trainer asked another question, “How many of you love your wife?” This question was a no brainer and to an extent sounded worthless. The participants at once started commenting. “What type of question is this?” “Of course we love our wife and children” “Of course, they are our family!!” Before this could turn into a parliamentary discussion, the trainer again signaled a time-up sign. He went on to pose another question “If it’s such an obvious question, then I would like to ask, how many times you appreciate her? When was the last time you appreciated her?”

Again there was a long silence. Some faces and expressions changed into shameful ones. Some heads went down searching the floor. Some eyes looked up at the ceiling with deep thought. Rajan too started thinking. He just like many in the room realized, he had not appreciated Reshma, his wife in a long time, probably in years. He started to reflect on what the trainer had stated earlier and their responses. Very easily he could grasp that if upon receiving no appreciations, they would go into an emotional turmoil, the same hold true for his wife. The hunger for appreciation with human beings would by and large be the same. And if he asked her the reason, he was pretty sure that she would not play the blame game with Rajan. The entire fifteen years of marriage flashed in front of Rajan’s eyes and it occurred to him that despite his short comings, inefficiencies and failures at time, Reshma had never spoked ill or criticized him. In fact she did not leave any small opportunity to appreciate him privately as well as publicly. Al these years Reshms had been there for Rajan and provided with love. Rajan almost had tears in his eyes. He had taken the relationship for granted and had forgotten the language of gratitude.

It was a wake up session for Rajan. He thanked the trainer for making him realize this important aspect of relationship. He stepped out of the office, picked up a beautiful saree for Reshma, booked a table at Reshma’s favorite restaurant and started making a mental note of all that he wanted to say to Reshma and appreciate her for everything that she does for him. Rajan was very happy and had just realized a new catalyst in the relationship, the power of unconditional love!!  

(c) Rahul Shinde 03/30/03/06/2020                                                      https://tinyurl.com/y9ue8faa